Hand back ownership of chores
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I know, I know. It seems easier to do it all yourself than to trust that the others in the family will get the housework, the cooking, the cleaning actually done without you nagging them 100 times over it.
Well. You know what. It shouldn't be that way. Without help, we burn out and end up running on empty. Our kids don't want to play with mums who are distracted, and tired and snappy. They deserve more, WE deserve more!
ALSO. Kids love chores if they're given them in the right way. They love feeling a little bit grown up, and responsible, and feeling like a member of the team.
SO! Here are my top ways that I make my life easier everyday, so that I'm left with time for us to play together as a family without being snappy and bad tempered. (Honesty here - it doesn't work every day, there are still some bad days. But there are many more good days).
If the problem is with your partner more than your kids then I truly sympathise. I'm a single mum, and honestly, it's easier this way then it was when I was married. The continuing gender disparity SUCKS. I've written a page with what mums wished dads would understand. Maybe have a look at that.
Menu Plans/ Food Shopping / Cooking
This used to ALL be my resposibility. And it drove me down, and wound me up. It's such a lot of effort to go through to then be told every night that people aren't hungry, or they think it's yuck, or they'd rather have something else.
I don't know how all these things ended up on mums' shoulders but they can certainly be dusted off, and handed back to the family as a collective responsibility.
Laundry
The neeeeever ending, thankless task of making sure everyone's got clean clothes. No-one ever notices when you get it right time after time, but my god you'll hear all about it if their PE Kit's not been washed, or they've no matching socks, or that very specific top that they wanted to wear today (they didn't inform you about) hasn't been washed.
You know what's not rocket science? Washing machines. And hanging laundry out. And putting it away.
But to reach this egalitarian linen eutopia we're going to have to employ a couple of tricks.
Cleaning
You've tried the rotas. You've tried the star charts. You've tried reminding. You've tried not reminding.
It seems like no matter what you do, you're still the only one cleaning the whole house every day.
Until now
Scheduling
You know the feeling. Everyone's got different things on every days, and somehow you're the only one who manage to hold it all together and get it on the calendar. And now you're the person in charge of making sure everyone has everything they need, making sure everything's been paid for, that there's transport, that various coaches, teachers, and parents have been liaised with.
When all the little things get added up, it's a LOT.
Budgeting
Ok. So don't burden kids with adult problems. If you're not sure how to pay the bills this month, it's not helpful to share it with your kids. But your partner should be 50/50 in it with you to solve this.
And, the kids can, and should learn that money has a value, and sometimes that means making hard choices on what to spend it on.
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